regret?

have you ever felt regret? i bet everyone had it. and this is what happening to me now.

it's 5:51 AM, im already open my pc. then i looked someone was updating his status. "his". yeah, it refers to my ex boyfriend. curious about his condition, i opened his facebook. i looked his photos.

geez, i dont know how those feelin could come. i felt so regret. no no, i mean... i feel regret. 8 years a go.........

i throw him carelessly. he's the one and only who treated me so well. he did what i like. he never angry with me. he loved me so much. he always tried his best to made me happy. and once again i said he was the one and only who treated me SO WELL. but i didn't. i left him for someone who still stand beside me until now on. if he compares with ogy, he stills win. after

broke up with me he got 2 girlfriends after that. and he stills said that he always be love me.

but, its only from the past. i just dont know why suddenly this feeling come up. whereas, we met in his wedding. but this feeling is just coming up.

dear you over there,

im so sorry for what ive done. im so sorry that you didnt get what youve already expected from me. im so sorry that i never gave you a chance to kiss me. you re so nice boy. but i hope youre already got someone better. i always pray for your happiness with your wife. and may you have a cute and lovable family that youre starting to build now. im so sorry. hope you're already happy with your life now...

i woke up this morning caused by my daddy's car. yeah, he went to his office and as usual i dont know because i was still gluing to the bed and blanket. i saw my blackberry and found 3 bbms. from lucky, kak ardi, and alnogi. i read them and put them off. i turned the tv on. seriously, this problem is killing me. i cant be in a quiet room alone. so i decided to went out my room. then finding my mom, she goes to her friend's house. making a hot dilmah tea is one of my favourite thing in the morning. ah, life is too beautiful. i dont wanna mess my life up with the unimportant things like that. i have to move on. waking up and close the old book. i have to walk with ive got right now. im starting my new life today. im trying. and thank god its friday. happy holiday!

Its been so long

its been so long i didnt write. and how i miss writing. lately too much pressure. too much problems. i need to talk with someone, but i cant. so i escape from the real world. i think writting is the best way to share all of mine.

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

I don't want to be part of the problem and I try so hard to get roughed up. Then there's you screaming say something, I get so jealous that I can't even work. I don't like what I see. I don't know how it's become such a problem. How can they ask why I feel so angry?

Do you see my problem if I never explain it? But then there's you asking me how long. And i answered it's taken me so long.

I don't want to live my life like a story. I'm staring from a distance and why don't you come get a closer look?

I want to get myself back, I'm wondering where did they go?

yeah . kemarin saya pergi sama kakak saya dan pacarnya . kita pergi ke tebet . karena saya mau beli baju buat kuliah dan buat eurotrip . aminamin . hehehe . kita berangkat bertiga aja , pukul setengah 12an lah . nyampe sana panaaaaas bener yah .oiya kata temen saya bloops dan endorse seang ada diskon up to 70% . hmm jadi penasaran . pas masuk ke endorse eh ko pada antri . ternyata barang-barang yang di diskon itu baru buka nya jam 2 . ya udah saya jalan lagi . abis muter-muter gitu tapi perut gak bisa di ajak kompromi . abis itu makan di Ibu Bandung . abis darisana mampir ke endorse sebentar beli barang2 diskon itu . hahaha . ya udah terusannya ke itc kuningan nganterin kakak saya . abis dari sana lapar lagi . tadi nya mau nonton terminator 3 , kalo ga di gading ya di fx . tapi enggak jadi lagi . terusannya kita makan sushi aja di sushi naga . abis dari sana hmm pulang deh . terus pacaran sampai larut malam hahahaha .

i love 2oo9 :)

hai hai . long time no update again . feel so lazy to update this blog . hahahaa . it's almost midnight , and i'm still online . i miss this moment . what's goin on lately ? hmmm , nothing special . the next 2 weeks , im going to face the final test , wish me luck :) . oh ya , i almost forget to tell , i can't wait until this 29th . because that day , i'll celebrate my anniversary with my boy . 5 years friends... ahahaha . can't believe i can pass as long as it takes . hmm , too much plans on this holiday .
next week im going to go to puncak with my besties , and then next August i'll have a holiday with my campus's friends to go to Bali . i hope my boy can join with us . but it still on a plan . and the plan that i cant wait from now on is , IM GOING TO GO FOR EUROTRIP . oh man , really can't believe this . this is really my dream come true . my dream since i was kid . i just can imagine that on my mind . but now hey , hahaha . speechless when my parents told that . aww. i hope it will become true . amien .